I have the cutest dog in the world. He is a Terrier mix that looks like a miniture Deer, that's why we named him Fawnzie. Fawnzie has many positives. He keeps me in shape, he is a good gauge on my mood (whether I am aggressive with him or gentle), and above all I meet a ton of people when I walk him.
Dating wise, the doggie technique is incredible! I just walk him and people come up to me. "Can I pet him"? That's it! Soon we are engrossed in a conversation.
I like to take Fawnzie everywhere, but especially to the beach. The major detriment is other dogs. Now meeting somebody with another dog is great, don't get me wrong. In fact I know all my neighbors and the names of their dogs. It is the humpy hump dance and the sniffing thing that drives me crazy! How am I supposed to interact with somebody when my dog's nose is smelling their hind quarters?
A crazy thought came to me as I walked Fawnzie last night. What if we acted like dogs?
"Hello Bill, smells like you had beens last night." Uncomfortable sounding? Well that's exactly how I feel when Fawnzie does this.
One thing for sure, hanging out with my traveling buddy becomes one adventure after another. Research shows the health benefits of having pets. Perhaps it's because of the exercise. Though I believe it's because of all the laughter that goes along with watching a dog sprint around in circles after they make a doodie. But one thing is for sure, Fawnzie has a place in my heart and the people who have met him.
Should you get a pet? Only if you have the time to care for them. However in doing so, they will also care for you.
Dr. Scott
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Fear
How often do we as a people talk about fear? As a boy I feared my mother leaving me, then I heard a client tell me their mother was killed when they were three years old. That would have devistated me.
Right from the start I feared being left alone, feeling pain, the big dog that barked at me, my father's rage, and when I got older I feared death. Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night panicked about death? I hate that!
When it comes to relationships we fear this and so much more. Intense intimacy can be horrifying! It makes us feel so damn vulnerable. What about being cheating on? This would cement in what a loser we are.
Fearing finances, fearing the holidays, birthdays, doing the right thing. It is a full time job keeping fear bottled up. What's ironic, as a therapist specializing in crisis, I place myself smack dab in the middle of fear constantly. What makes matters worse, our first defense mechanism is anger! Anger goes hand and hand with fear.
Can we win the battle with fear? Our relationships depend on it!
Right from the start I feared being left alone, feeling pain, the big dog that barked at me, my father's rage, and when I got older I feared death. Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night panicked about death? I hate that!
When it comes to relationships we fear this and so much more. Intense intimacy can be horrifying! It makes us feel so damn vulnerable. What about being cheating on? This would cement in what a loser we are.
Fearing finances, fearing the holidays, birthdays, doing the right thing. It is a full time job keeping fear bottled up. What's ironic, as a therapist specializing in crisis, I place myself smack dab in the middle of fear constantly. What makes matters worse, our first defense mechanism is anger! Anger goes hand and hand with fear.
Can we win the battle with fear? Our relationships depend on it!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Pleasing Them
I have a friend who had been dating a woman for the past few years. He told me things were going great, then one day his partner said, "I'd love you even more if you cut your hair. Of course he cut his hair and afterwards things got better. Next she asked him to wear button down shirts. Wanting to please, he bought some nice shirts and wore them with pride. Request after request, change after change, then recently she broke up with him because she felt he changed too much!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Date Brings Their Wiener Dog
If your date brings their Wiener Dog to the first date, be careful. This animal may be their primary relationship. Now if you don't mind being the second priority, remain and enjoy the table scraps. Just realize the dog will be enjoying the main course.
People will give us subtle messages in a dating situation. As for the Wiener Dog person, are they showing interest in you, or are they showing you the object of their affection? Unfortunately many of us think with our loins. If they look hot as hell, who cares? All we're thinking about is when midnight comes around, how to move Bob Barker off the bed.
Be honest with yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have? Is it simply for sex? Can conversation be involved? Do you want to have many partners? Do you want something for the long haul? In this case, in order to be top dog, you may have to grow a lot of hair and when they pet your stomach learn how to kick your leg. This may lead to a lot of "Doggie Style" satisfaction.
People will give us subtle messages in a dating situation. As for the Wiener Dog person, are they showing interest in you, or are they showing you the object of their affection? Unfortunately many of us think with our loins. If they look hot as hell, who cares? All we're thinking about is when midnight comes around, how to move Bob Barker off the bed.
Be honest with yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have? Is it simply for sex? Can conversation be involved? Do you want to have many partners? Do you want something for the long haul? In this case, in order to be top dog, you may have to grow a lot of hair and when they pet your stomach learn how to kick your leg. This may lead to a lot of "Doggie Style" satisfaction.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Bobble Head
Too much excitement can cause an interesting phenomenem: "The Bobble Head" It makes you dawn a silly grin, and your head bobbles side to side, and up and down. I am known as "The King of the Bobble"!
It is a great feeling being attracted to somebody to that extent. But be forewarned, when two people are simultaneously bobbling IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. Somebody has to keep their head or disasterous consequences can occur.
Oh you've seen it, people breaking into spontaneous singing, dancing, or just blurting out their feelings. I myself, have been blinded by the bobble and walked into a lamp post.
The key is to control the urge to bobble to the best of your ability. Imagine this: Two people meeting on a great internet dating game, having an instant love connection, meeting in person and having their heads bobbing away. Go slowly my friends. But if the urge to bobble hits you - go ahead and bobble away!!
It is a great feeling being attracted to somebody to that extent. But be forewarned, when two people are simultaneously bobbling IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. Somebody has to keep their head or disasterous consequences can occur.
Oh you've seen it, people breaking into spontaneous singing, dancing, or just blurting out their feelings. I myself, have been blinded by the bobble and walked into a lamp post.
The key is to control the urge to bobble to the best of your ability. Imagine this: Two people meeting on a great internet dating game, having an instant love connection, meeting in person and having their heads bobbing away. Go slowly my friends. But if the urge to bobble hits you - go ahead and bobble away!!
Getting Some
As horny teens, my friends and I had categories on sexual encounters of the other kind.
Getting Nook: Nokie meant making out. You know - kissing.
At minimum you wanted to at least get nokie. In fact, at the end of a date, we would contact one another and ask: "Did you get nook or stuff?".
Stuff: Is more than just kissing. A feel here, a touch there. At times "stuff" was just as good as "getting it".
Getting IT! (Aka "the big I.T.!): Having sex.
Not only did my friends talk this way, but so did my parents. Upon returning home from a date, my own parents asked if I got the big I.T!
Let's face it, guys basically want to "get some" twenty four hours a day, and seven days of the week. Women too.
Getting Some: Basically any type of sexual encounter.
So, "Let's get ready to rumble"! If we get everybody involved in the internet dating games, everybodies going to get not only some, but the big I.T!
Getting Nook: Nokie meant making out. You know - kissing.
At minimum you wanted to at least get nokie. In fact, at the end of a date, we would contact one another and ask: "Did you get nook or stuff?".
Stuff: Is more than just kissing. A feel here, a touch there. At times "stuff" was just as good as "getting it".
Getting IT! (Aka "the big I.T.!): Having sex.
Not only did my friends talk this way, but so did my parents. Upon returning home from a date, my own parents asked if I got the big I.T!
Let's face it, guys basically want to "get some" twenty four hours a day, and seven days of the week. Women too.
Getting Some: Basically any type of sexual encounter.
So, "Let's get ready to rumble"! If we get everybody involved in the internet dating games, everybodies going to get not only some, but the big I.T!
Vanilla
The other day a client was confused about dating. He dressed nice, was clean, wore her favorite cologne, opened the doors for her, but still he felt hopeless. I attribute this to "Vanilla".
Years ago Gary Larsen nailed it with a cartoon who's caption was: "Same planet, different worlds". The man in his cartoon wondered if he did the right things, while the woman kept thinking about Vanilla. Yes, the worlds of men and women are different. Don't let this stop you. People may do all the perfect things in relationships and they still fail. In another a stupid slip up may lead to spontaneous displays of passion! In relationships it's all about luck.
Now I'm not saying don't shave, wear nice clothes, and open doors. What I am saying is when the "Vanilla" hits, enjoy the taste, you might get lucky!
Years ago Gary Larsen nailed it with a cartoon who's caption was: "Same planet, different worlds". The man in his cartoon wondered if he did the right things, while the woman kept thinking about Vanilla. Yes, the worlds of men and women are different. Don't let this stop you. People may do all the perfect things in relationships and they still fail. In another a stupid slip up may lead to spontaneous displays of passion! In relationships it's all about luck.
Now I'm not saying don't shave, wear nice clothes, and open doors. What I am saying is when the "Vanilla" hits, enjoy the taste, you might get lucky!
The Hokie Pokie
If you've never danced the Hokie Pokie in elementary school, please check it out on youtube. You will get a great life lesson.
A Doctor friend of mine was convinced that life was all about the Hokie Pokie. While he has arguments with the wife, he does the Hokie Pokie. When there are problems at work, again he does the Hokie Pokie. Of course I told him there's nothing hokie about pokie. (cricket sounds)
When meeting people on the internet game site, use the "Hokie Pokie" as your guide. Put your whole self in, but when things look bleak, put your whole self out, when the tide changes put your whole self back in, and shake it all about! Who knows, you may get lucky. Cause, "THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT"!!
A Doctor friend of mine was convinced that life was all about the Hokie Pokie. While he has arguments with the wife, he does the Hokie Pokie. When there are problems at work, again he does the Hokie Pokie. Of course I told him there's nothing hokie about pokie. (cricket sounds)
When meeting people on the internet game site, use the "Hokie Pokie" as your guide. Put your whole self in, but when things look bleak, put your whole self out, when the tide changes put your whole self back in, and shake it all about! Who knows, you may get lucky. Cause, "THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT"!!
The First Kiss
"Ces't L'amore." The first kiss is one of life's defining moments! When should couple's first kiss? Hell if I know?
There is a great technique used in the movie "Hitch". We highly recommend watching it! What is imporant is timing. The mood just has to be right bottom line.
Be sensitive to your partner and try not to thrust yourself upon them. When positive feelings exist in both, move forward slowly. Trust me, it is the slow motion action that will show whether they are interested in you or not. If they slowly move towards you too, ENJOY THE FRIGGIN RIDE YOU LOVE BIRDS!!!
There is a great technique used in the movie "Hitch". We highly recommend watching it! What is imporant is timing. The mood just has to be right bottom line.
Be sensitive to your partner and try not to thrust yourself upon them. When positive feelings exist in both, move forward slowly. Trust me, it is the slow motion action that will show whether they are interested in you or not. If they slowly move towards you too, ENJOY THE FRIGGIN RIDE YOU LOVE BIRDS!!!
The Initial Meeting
Where should couples meet? My slogan: "Small steps leads to big results".
Forget the movie, the concert, or other distractions, because you will miss out on something valuable - "conversating". Relating is what relationships are all about!
Find an intimate place, in public, where you can share a drink, a meal, and talk. Keep it short. Getting a return date is what you are really after. Though I know lots of couples who did the "wango tango" right from the get go.
Forget the movie, the concert, or other distractions, because you will miss out on something valuable - "conversating". Relating is what relationships are all about!
Find an intimate place, in public, where you can share a drink, a meal, and talk. Keep it short. Getting a return date is what you are really after. Though I know lots of couples who did the "wango tango" right from the get go.
Farting
Yep, farts happen. How you handle them shows your character. Do you ignore them? Do you laugh hysterically? Some people blame it on the dog, or a spider.
Let's face it, after the initial pleasantries, the real you will eventually emerge. Please, please, please give this some time. I know a couple who for years refused to fart around each other, then came the day that the girl challenged the guy and world war three began! She had unbelievable talent!!
There is lots of sex at the beginning of relationships for a reason, both partners are seeing the best in one another. After that... well let it rip!
Let's face it, after the initial pleasantries, the real you will eventually emerge. Please, please, please give this some time. I know a couple who for years refused to fart around each other, then came the day that the girl challenged the guy and world war three began! She had unbelievable talent!!
There is lots of sex at the beginning of relationships for a reason, both partners are seeing the best in one another. After that... well let it rip!
Holding Hands
Do you know what makes me sick... Couples holding hands. I'm reminded of Kindergarten outtings when I see this. I know a lot of you like the hand holding thing, and I think that is great for you. If it is important to feel safe while crossing the street, then my advise is the same as kissing - go slowly. Slowly touch their wrist area and move downwards, if you get a positive response - YOU ARE IN THEIR BABY!
I do love when someone touches my arm while they speak, because I love the face to face intimacy thing. It is a real turn on when I am face to face with someone and being touched. But the hand holding thing while walking? Let the Kindergarteners do that.
I do love when someone touches my arm while they speak, because I love the face to face intimacy thing. It is a real turn on when I am face to face with someone and being touched. But the hand holding thing while walking? Let the Kindergarteners do that.
The Popcorn Trick
I went to the movies last night, had to suffer through a chick flick, but hey, I'll suffer indignity in order to get some. Though the movie experience did heighten when I purchased a bucket of popcorn.
Have you ever heard of the popcorn trick? Oh this is a classic! Guys need to make a hole at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, put their member inside, place popcorn on top, and then ask their date to grab as much popcorn as they want.
Has anybody ever done this? Hell no! Who wants to get salt in you pe..s slit?
Have you ever heard of the popcorn trick? Oh this is a classic! Guys need to make a hole at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, put their member inside, place popcorn on top, and then ask their date to grab as much popcorn as they want.
Has anybody ever done this? Hell no! Who wants to get salt in you pe..s slit?
The Eye Bone is Connected to the Boner Bone
If you don't match up for any reason, don't judge yourself. Try and try again. You are bound to get lucky sooner or later. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't force something if there is no attraction.
As a teen we had a saying: "The eye bone is connected to the Boner bone". If it doesn't look good, no physical reaction will take place. Is this a shallow way to look at life? Perhaps. But it is honest. Be honest with yourself. If you want to date someone with a pretty face, then do so. If you don't have a pretty face don't be discouraged. I have seen people who aren't attractive blow away model types because of their attitude!
Accentuate your positives! Everybody has attractive qualities. Go the distance!
As a teen we had a saying: "The eye bone is connected to the Boner bone". If it doesn't look good, no physical reaction will take place. Is this a shallow way to look at life? Perhaps. But it is honest. Be honest with yourself. If you want to date someone with a pretty face, then do so. If you don't have a pretty face don't be discouraged. I have seen people who aren't attractive blow away model types because of their attitude!
Accentuate your positives! Everybody has attractive qualities. Go the distance!
Gourmet Taste
A friend asked: What to do if your date orders an expensive meal? This threw up a red flag!
If you have the funds there should be no problem - if you also have expensive taste. For the majority of us who live on a budget be careful! This behavior will not only continue, but get worse! My advise: Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, and run like hell! Dignity Smignity! Get out of there with a full wallet and some of your dignity left!
If you have the funds there should be no problem - if you also have expensive taste. For the majority of us who live on a budget be careful! This behavior will not only continue, but get worse! My advise: Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, and run like hell! Dignity Smignity! Get out of there with a full wallet and some of your dignity left!
Deal Breakers
Guys beware! Something dark is looming around constantly when you are in the dating arena "The Deal Breaker!" If you continually screw up, say the wrong things, or act pathetic the "deal" is off! Men don't have many deal breakers because we can tolerate almost anything if we ultimately get sex.
What are the common deal breakers? The man doesn't like kids, pets, is a Republican, is totally into sports, or doesn't like Abba. If a guy doesn't like the movie "Momma Mia" it usually spells doom.
Men have really one deal breaker - "Not getting any."
My advice to all you fellows: tolerate the kids, the pets, "Momma Mia", and TIVO the game for future viewing.
What are the common deal breakers? The man doesn't like kids, pets, is a Republican, is totally into sports, or doesn't like Abba. If a guy doesn't like the movie "Momma Mia" it usually spells doom.
Men have really one deal breaker - "Not getting any."
My advice to all you fellows: tolerate the kids, the pets, "Momma Mia", and TIVO the game for future viewing.
"Playing an Online Dating Game is Foolish"
A friend told me playing an online dating was "foolish". I replied with a smile: "Of course it is!" Of course playing a game to meet somebody is foolishness, but it is so damn fun!
Instead of judging the process, jump in and play! The worst you can do is meet a few folks, laugh at all the silly humor, and have another one of life's great experiences!
With everything: "Moderation is the key". Could you imagine a twelve step group entitled Online Dating Anonymous? Na.
Instead of judging the process, jump in and play! The worst you can do is meet a few folks, laugh at all the silly humor, and have another one of life's great experiences!
With everything: "Moderation is the key". Could you imagine a twelve step group entitled Online Dating Anonymous? Na.
How to Get the Most Out of the Online Dating Game
To get the most out of playing the internet dating game, remove the logical side of your brain and play with your gut. Let your feelings be your guide. How often has your brain stopped you from having a good time anyway? "But there are bills to pay, and people to see." Of course there will be the "To Do's", but these "things" may hinder you finding that special someone.
Ultimately, do you want to meet somebody or not? If you do, then burn the "To Do" list, ignore your feelings of inferiority, tell yourself you're great - and play on!
Now if this fails, I suggest finding the To Do list, using your logical side, telling yourself you are a dweeb, and play the game anyway!
Ultimately, do you want to meet somebody or not? If you do, then burn the "To Do" list, ignore your feelings of inferiority, tell yourself you're great - and play on!
Now if this fails, I suggest finding the To Do list, using your logical side, telling yourself you are a dweeb, and play the game anyway!
How Long Does it Take to Get Laid?
People have asked me how long it takes to get laid after playing the internet dating game. It depends. Many people are instantly attracted at first sight and whamo! These relationships are usually short lived, but oh my God can they be fun! Others are looking for a long term relationship with perhaps children. Again, under the right conditions sex can occur instantaneously but is usually short lived. Others are looking for more of a soul mate with an emphasis on friendship. Again, sex can happen instantaneously and it is usually short lived.
Is there hope for a long term commitment? Play the game and get ready for the spontaneous sex and maybe, after reading the Love Doctor Blogs, a long term commitment can be found. But at least your get instantaneous sex!
Is there hope for a long term commitment? Play the game and get ready for the spontaneous sex and maybe, after reading the Love Doctor Blogs, a long term commitment can be found. But at least your get instantaneous sex!
The Male Curse
The Online Dating version of Girls and Guys Gone Wild has now begun! All the stories the players are writing about are hysterical! The sad thing - I love hearing them. I thought I was conservative but boy was I wrong.
This reminds me of when I was a teen. My friends and I bought those x rated newspapers and read them from cover to cover. In thirty plus years, unfortunately not much has changed. I am cursed. I have the male curse. My animalistic urges are getting the best of me.
Interestingly enough some of the stories were written by women! My, has this world changed, and I am glad about it. Please share more stories. The creators of the online dating games love to hear about the fruits of their labor.
This reminds me of when I was a teen. My friends and I bought those x rated newspapers and read them from cover to cover. In thirty plus years, unfortunately not much has changed. I am cursed. I have the male curse. My animalistic urges are getting the best of me.
Interestingly enough some of the stories were written by women! My, has this world changed, and I am glad about it. Please share more stories. The creators of the online dating games love to hear about the fruits of their labor.
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