Date Brings Their Wiener Dog

If your date brings their Wiener Dog to the first date, be careful. This animal may be their primary relationship. Now if you don't mind being the second priority, remain and enjoy the table scraps. Just realize the dog will be enjoying the main course.

People will give us subtle messages in a dating situation. As for the Wiener Dog person, are they showing interest in you, or are they showing you the object of their affection? Unfortunately many of us think with our loins. If they look hot as hell, who cares? All we're thinking about is when midnight comes around, how to move Bob Barker off the bed.

Be honest with yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have? Is it simply for sex? Can conversation be involved? Do you want to have many partners? Do you want something for the long haul? In this case, in order to be top dog, you may have to grow a lot of hair and when they pet your stomach learn how to kick your leg. This may lead to a lot of "Doggie Style" satisfaction.

Getting Some

As horny teens, my friends and I had categories on sexual encounters of the other kind.

Getting Nook: Nokie meant making out. You know - kissing.

At minimum you wanted to at least get nokie. In fact, at the end of a date, we would contact one another and ask: "Did you get nook or stuff?".

Stuff: Is more than just kissing. A feel here, a touch there. At times "stuff" was just as good as "getting it".

Getting IT! (Aka "the big I.T.!): Having sex.

Not only did my friends talk this way, but so did my parents. Upon returning home from a date, my own parents asked if I got the big I.T!

Let's face it, guys basically want to "get some" twenty four hours a day, and seven days of the week. Women too.

Getting Some: Basically any type of sexual encounter.

So, "Let's get ready to rumble"! If we get everybody involved in the internet dating games, everybodies going to get not only some, but the big I.T!

The Initial Meeting

Where should couples meet? My slogan: "Small steps leads to big results".

Forget the movie, the concert, or other distractions, because you will miss out on something valuable - "conversating". Relating is what relationships are all about!

Find an intimate place, in public, where you can share a drink, a meal, and talk. Keep it short. Getting a return date is what you are really after. Though I know lots of couples who did the "wango tango" right from the get go.

The Popcorn Trick

I went to the movies last night, had to suffer through a chick flick, but hey, I'll suffer indignity in order to get some. Though the movie experience did heighten when I purchased a bucket of popcorn.

Have you ever heard of the popcorn trick? Oh this is a classic! Guys need to make a hole at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, put their member inside, place popcorn on top, and then ask their date to grab as much popcorn as they want.

Has anybody ever done this? Hell no! Who wants to get salt in you pe..s slit?

The Eye Bone is Connected to the Boner Bone

If you don't match up for any reason, don't judge yourself. Try and try again. You are bound to get lucky sooner or later. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't force something if there is no attraction.

As a teen we had a saying: "The eye bone is connected to the Boner bone". If it doesn't look good, no physical reaction will take place. Is this a shallow way to look at life? Perhaps. But it is honest. Be honest with yourself. If you want to date someone with a pretty face, then do so. If you don't have a pretty face don't be discouraged. I have seen people who aren't attractive blow away model types because of their attitude!

Accentuate your positives! Everybody has attractive qualities. Go the distance!

Deal Breakers

Guys beware! Something dark is looming around constantly when you are in the dating arena "The Deal Breaker!" If you continually screw up, say the wrong things, or act pathetic the "deal" is off! Men don't have many deal breakers because we can tolerate almost anything if we ultimately get sex.

What are the common deal breakers? The man doesn't like kids, pets, is a Republican, is totally into sports, or doesn't like Abba. If a guy doesn't like the movie "Momma Mia" it usually spells doom.

Men have really one deal breaker - "Not getting any."

My advice to all you fellows: tolerate the kids, the pets, "Momma Mia", and TIVO the game for future viewing.

How Long Does it Take to Get Laid?

People have asked me how long it takes to get laid after playing the internet dating game. It depends. Many people are instantly attracted at first sight and whamo! These relationships are usually short lived, but oh my God can they be fun! Others are looking for a long term relationship with perhaps children. Again, under the right conditions sex can occur instantaneously but is usually short lived. Others are looking for more of a soul mate with an emphasis on friendship. Again, sex can happen instantaneously and it is usually short lived.

Is there hope for a long term commitment? Play the game and get ready for the spontaneous sex and maybe, after reading the Love Doctor Blogs, a long term commitment can be found. But at least your get instantaneous sex!