I have the cutest dog in the world. He is a Terrier mix that looks like a miniture Deer, that's why we named him Fawnzie. Fawnzie has many positives. He keeps me in shape, he is a good gauge on my mood (whether I am aggressive with him or gentle), and above all I meet a ton of people when I walk him.
Dating wise, the doggie technique is incredible! I just walk him and people come up to me. "Can I pet him"? That's it! Soon we are engrossed in a conversation.
I like to take Fawnzie everywhere, but especially to the beach. The major detriment is other dogs. Now meeting somebody with another dog is great, don't get me wrong. In fact I know all my neighbors and the names of their dogs. It is the humpy hump dance and the sniffing thing that drives me crazy! How am I supposed to interact with somebody when my dog's nose is smelling their hind quarters?
A crazy thought came to me as I walked Fawnzie last night. What if we acted like dogs?
"Hello Bill, smells like you had beens last night." Uncomfortable sounding? Well that's exactly how I feel when Fawnzie does this.
One thing for sure, hanging out with my traveling buddy becomes one adventure after another. Research shows the health benefits of having pets. Perhaps it's because of the exercise. Though I believe it's because of all the laughter that goes along with watching a dog sprint around in circles after they make a doodie. But one thing is for sure, Fawnzie has a place in my heart and the people who have met him.
Should you get a pet? Only if you have the time to care for them. However in doing so, they will also care for you.
Dr. Scott
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Fear
How often do we as a people talk about fear? As a boy I feared my mother leaving me, then I heard a client tell me their mother was killed when they were three years old. That would have devistated me.
Right from the start I feared being left alone, feeling pain, the big dog that barked at me, my father's rage, and when I got older I feared death. Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night panicked about death? I hate that!
When it comes to relationships we fear this and so much more. Intense intimacy can be horrifying! It makes us feel so damn vulnerable. What about being cheating on? This would cement in what a loser we are.
Fearing finances, fearing the holidays, birthdays, doing the right thing. It is a full time job keeping fear bottled up. What's ironic, as a therapist specializing in crisis, I place myself smack dab in the middle of fear constantly. What makes matters worse, our first defense mechanism is anger! Anger goes hand and hand with fear.
Can we win the battle with fear? Our relationships depend on it!
Right from the start I feared being left alone, feeling pain, the big dog that barked at me, my father's rage, and when I got older I feared death. Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night panicked about death? I hate that!
When it comes to relationships we fear this and so much more. Intense intimacy can be horrifying! It makes us feel so damn vulnerable. What about being cheating on? This would cement in what a loser we are.
Fearing finances, fearing the holidays, birthdays, doing the right thing. It is a full time job keeping fear bottled up. What's ironic, as a therapist specializing in crisis, I place myself smack dab in the middle of fear constantly. What makes matters worse, our first defense mechanism is anger! Anger goes hand and hand with fear.
Can we win the battle with fear? Our relationships depend on it!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Pleasing Them
I have a friend who had been dating a woman for the past few years. He told me things were going great, then one day his partner said, "I'd love you even more if you cut your hair. Of course he cut his hair and afterwards things got better. Next she asked him to wear button down shirts. Wanting to please, he bought some nice shirts and wore them with pride. Request after request, change after change, then recently she broke up with him because she felt he changed too much!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Date Brings Their Wiener Dog
If your date brings their Wiener Dog to the first date, be careful. This animal may be their primary relationship. Now if you don't mind being the second priority, remain and enjoy the table scraps. Just realize the dog will be enjoying the main course.
People will give us subtle messages in a dating situation. As for the Wiener Dog person, are they showing interest in you, or are they showing you the object of their affection? Unfortunately many of us think with our loins. If they look hot as hell, who cares? All we're thinking about is when midnight comes around, how to move Bob Barker off the bed.
Be honest with yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have? Is it simply for sex? Can conversation be involved? Do you want to have many partners? Do you want something for the long haul? In this case, in order to be top dog, you may have to grow a lot of hair and when they pet your stomach learn how to kick your leg. This may lead to a lot of "Doggie Style" satisfaction.
People will give us subtle messages in a dating situation. As for the Wiener Dog person, are they showing interest in you, or are they showing you the object of their affection? Unfortunately many of us think with our loins. If they look hot as hell, who cares? All we're thinking about is when midnight comes around, how to move Bob Barker off the bed.
Be honest with yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have? Is it simply for sex? Can conversation be involved? Do you want to have many partners? Do you want something for the long haul? In this case, in order to be top dog, you may have to grow a lot of hair and when they pet your stomach learn how to kick your leg. This may lead to a lot of "Doggie Style" satisfaction.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Bobble Head
Too much excitement can cause an interesting phenomenem: "The Bobble Head" It makes you dawn a silly grin, and your head bobbles side to side, and up and down. I am known as "The King of the Bobble"!
It is a great feeling being attracted to somebody to that extent. But be forewarned, when two people are simultaneously bobbling IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. Somebody has to keep their head or disasterous consequences can occur.
Oh you've seen it, people breaking into spontaneous singing, dancing, or just blurting out their feelings. I myself, have been blinded by the bobble and walked into a lamp post.
The key is to control the urge to bobble to the best of your ability. Imagine this: Two people meeting on a great internet dating game, having an instant love connection, meeting in person and having their heads bobbing away. Go slowly my friends. But if the urge to bobble hits you - go ahead and bobble away!!
It is a great feeling being attracted to somebody to that extent. But be forewarned, when two people are simultaneously bobbling IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. Somebody has to keep their head or disasterous consequences can occur.
Oh you've seen it, people breaking into spontaneous singing, dancing, or just blurting out their feelings. I myself, have been blinded by the bobble and walked into a lamp post.
The key is to control the urge to bobble to the best of your ability. Imagine this: Two people meeting on a great internet dating game, having an instant love connection, meeting in person and having their heads bobbing away. Go slowly my friends. But if the urge to bobble hits you - go ahead and bobble away!!
Getting Some
As horny teens, my friends and I had categories on sexual encounters of the other kind.
Getting Nook: Nokie meant making out. You know - kissing.
At minimum you wanted to at least get nokie. In fact, at the end of a date, we would contact one another and ask: "Did you get nook or stuff?".
Stuff: Is more than just kissing. A feel here, a touch there. At times "stuff" was just as good as "getting it".
Getting IT! (Aka "the big I.T.!): Having sex.
Not only did my friends talk this way, but so did my parents. Upon returning home from a date, my own parents asked if I got the big I.T!
Let's face it, guys basically want to "get some" twenty four hours a day, and seven days of the week. Women too.
Getting Some: Basically any type of sexual encounter.
So, "Let's get ready to rumble"! If we get everybody involved in the internet dating games, everybodies going to get not only some, but the big I.T!
Getting Nook: Nokie meant making out. You know - kissing.
At minimum you wanted to at least get nokie. In fact, at the end of a date, we would contact one another and ask: "Did you get nook or stuff?".
Stuff: Is more than just kissing. A feel here, a touch there. At times "stuff" was just as good as "getting it".
Getting IT! (Aka "the big I.T.!): Having sex.
Not only did my friends talk this way, but so did my parents. Upon returning home from a date, my own parents asked if I got the big I.T!
Let's face it, guys basically want to "get some" twenty four hours a day, and seven days of the week. Women too.
Getting Some: Basically any type of sexual encounter.
So, "Let's get ready to rumble"! If we get everybody involved in the internet dating games, everybodies going to get not only some, but the big I.T!
Vanilla
The other day a client was confused about dating. He dressed nice, was clean, wore her favorite cologne, opened the doors for her, but still he felt hopeless. I attribute this to "Vanilla".
Years ago Gary Larsen nailed it with a cartoon who's caption was: "Same planet, different worlds". The man in his cartoon wondered if he did the right things, while the woman kept thinking about Vanilla. Yes, the worlds of men and women are different. Don't let this stop you. People may do all the perfect things in relationships and they still fail. In another a stupid slip up may lead to spontaneous displays of passion! In relationships it's all about luck.
Now I'm not saying don't shave, wear nice clothes, and open doors. What I am saying is when the "Vanilla" hits, enjoy the taste, you might get lucky!
Years ago Gary Larsen nailed it with a cartoon who's caption was: "Same planet, different worlds". The man in his cartoon wondered if he did the right things, while the woman kept thinking about Vanilla. Yes, the worlds of men and women are different. Don't let this stop you. People may do all the perfect things in relationships and they still fail. In another a stupid slip up may lead to spontaneous displays of passion! In relationships it's all about luck.
Now I'm not saying don't shave, wear nice clothes, and open doors. What I am saying is when the "Vanilla" hits, enjoy the taste, you might get lucky!
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